In this series, business correspondent Timothy Goh offers practical answers to candid questions on navigating workplace challenges and getting ahead in your career. Get more tips by signing up to The Straits Times’ Headstart newsletter.
Q: How should employees respond when their boss expresses dissatisfaction through sarcasm or indirect remarks?
Passive-aggressive remarks are hard enough to handle with peers, but it is even tougher to manage the conversation when they come from your boss.
“The power imbalance makes pushing back feel risky, and in Singapore’s workplaces, where hierarchy and face-saving still shape how people communicate, many employees simply swallow the remark,” said Michelle Koh, managing director at executive search firm The Edge Partnership.
Employees should respond to what their manager says rather than the tone of their remarks, by asking calm, neutral questions instead of reacting defensively.
For instance, if a manager says: “Nice of you to finally send that.”
The subordinate’s response could be: “Was there an earlier deadline I missed? I want to make sure I’m meeting your expectations.”
Koh said: “Passive aggression depends on ambiguity, and a genuine question either turns the remark into useful feedback or takes away its sting.”
If such remarks become a pattern, employees should request a short one-to-one meeting with their manager and raise specific instances without labelling the behaviour.
They could explain that they have sensed dissatisfaction from their manager on several occasions and would prefer to receive direct feedback so they can address any concerns.
“Employees are also encouraged to keep a quiet record of dates and comments, confirm instructions in writing, and resist the urge to match the tone or vent to colleagues,” said Koh.
“But if the remarks become demeaning, target personal characteristics, or form part of a wider pattern of mistreatment, the matter should go to human resource or the manager’s own superior.
“Employees can also seek guidance from the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices,” she added.
David Leong, managing director of PeopleWorldwide Consulting, said the problem with passive-aggressive managers is that they communicate displeasure without taking responsibility for what they are communicating.
“Sarcasm is sometimes the language of managers who want to exercise authority using implied meaning… So the most effective way to disarm passive aggression is to make the implicit explicit,” he said.
“Ask for clarity, not confrontation – never fight a comment or sarcasm head on as it invites further escalation.”
Leong said respecting authority does not mean accepting disrespect, and professionalism should go both ways.
Employees should continue to treat their managers with respect, even when faced with repeated sarcastic remarks.
“The objective is not to win an argument with your boss, but to protect your dignity yet to show respect without compromising your professionalism,” he said.
